Past Regret, Future Hope
by Brildagniriel
Summary: Elrond reflects on his life with Celebrian, and tries to deal with his guilt. Short, but complete. Please R & R!


A/N: The characters in this story do not belong to me, but to the genius J.R.R.Tolkien. This is merely my interpretation of their emotions. Feel free to review if you like it or hate it, just review please! It's short, but complete. :)   
  
Past Regret, Future Hope  
  
Elrond buried his face in his hands as he looked at the injured young hobbit lying in the bed. When he'd first arrived, Elrond had not been sure he could save him. But things were looking better now. It seemed fairly likely that the hobbit would make it, fortunately. It was remarkable he had lasted as long as he had. If he'd arrived just hours later, who knows if he could have made it.   
  
Memories of another wounded person came unbidden to Elrond's mind, another person who had needed his healing. But he had not been able to save that person. He had not been able to help the one person he loved most. When Celebrían had been attacked by the orcs, he had done his best, but he had been unable to counter the poison. She had not died, but she had gone into the West. Elrond knew that she had a chance to be healed if she went, but that did not make it any easier. He still loved her, and missed her desperately. He also felt guilty. He felt guilty that he could not have done more for her. He felt as if he had failed her. He had healing hands, but he could not even save the one person in the world he cared most about.   
  
Elrond massaged his temples, and tried to ignore the pain in his head. He needed to focus right now, not think about what had happened in the past. That nagging guilt was always there, even though he knew that Celebrían never blamed him; she knew that he had done all he could. She accepted that; why could he not? Sighing gently, he again tried to think about all the events of that day; he mentally ran over all the plans, and made a list of all the things that still needed to be done. But Celebrían's face kept haunting his mind. He shook his head, to try and clear it, but the image remained. Elrond realized that the feelings he'd hidden for so many years were at the surface, and were not easily reburied. He had a suspicion as to why the memories had come flooding back so suddenly.   
  
Aragorn and Arwen.   
  
He'd seen the two of them together; it was plain to see they deeply loved each other. Much like he and Celebrían had been once. But now he was alone. Someday he too would go into the West and he would be reunited with his love. But that day was in the future, and for the present, he would have to remain by himself.   
  
What made the feelings worse was not just seeing Aragorn and Arwen in love; it was knowing his daughter faced a long, lonely future. She would give up her immortality for the human she loved, and would pay dearly. Someday Aragorn would die, and Arwen would be left to live alone, without her love, the man she'd given up her life for, and she would die, separated from her people by choice, and separated from Aragorn by death. It pained Elrond to know that this fate awaited his beloved daughter.  
  
As Elrond sat there, it seemed as if the weight of Middle Earth was upon him, and he felt as if everything was hopeless. He heard a noise, and realized that the hobbit was stirring. In his reminiscing, he had forgotten the hobbit was even there. Seeing Frodo lying there gave him hope. He had been gravely injured, but was recovering. Elrond realized that the same could be true for him. His was an emotional injury, one that he had never allowed to heal. By constantly rehashing the past, he had never given closure to what had happened. Elrond realized that he should not feel guilty. He understood that he shouldn't blame himself for what happened to Celebrían, and it was not his fault that she couldn't be healed. She hadn't blamed him, and he shouldn't condemn himself. He felt as if a large weight had been lifted off his chest.  
  
Elrond stood up, and moved to look out the window. He saw his daughter and Aragorn, walking together and looking at each other with eyes of love. For the first time, he did not see their love and fear the future. Instead, he was able to feel joy that they had found true love. And he felt hopeful about the future; not just the future of the two of them, but that of the hobbit, as well as all of Middle Earth. 


End file.
